


Stars

by naijagirl101



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Non-Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 23:02:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naijagirl101/pseuds/naijagirl101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she saw were stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

She opened her eyes to night sky, a blanket of dark shot through with glimmering lights.

 _Of course_ , she thought without surprise. _This is what I’d see._

It took her a full minute to understand that she was sitting upright on a roof, arms back to prop her up. The minute she became aware of her arms, she became aware of the rest of her body. It felt like her own.

It had to be high up, she realized, as wisps of white that looked like clouds drifted by. It was just her on this high roof, the last person in the world. Her hair was down, spilling over a completely white kimono. Everything was white, actually - even the obi, obijime, and obidome. She bet that if she looked down to see her feet dangling over the sides, the zori would be white too.

For a minute, her brain did its level best to process the fact that she didn’t know what was going on. The best she could do was focus on details, like the cold of the tile beneath hr hands and the fact that her breasts were bound. It took her another minute to begin to wrestle down the wild amusement that bubbled up - clearly, she really was dead. But who would have stuck her in binding that strapped her chest in as tightly as a corset?

“This is real.”

She said the words out loud, tasting the truth in the weight of them. The last thing she remembered was cutting through the air to try and get to Gin as he fell, blinking blood out of her vision to join his crumpled body on the rocks.

A swell of...something...tried to crawl its jagged way up her throat. Ran closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and pushed it back.

_This is real._

While alive, Ran had been the only child of only children. Her parents had believed in a Higher Power and had taught her respect. Six year old her had been pretty impressed with the rituals of the shrine her great-grandmother stewarded. It didn’t feel like going through the motions to her silver-haired Oba-chan - she had felt like she was in the presence of something bigger and wiser than her. God was something big. Something good. Something real.

She didn’t believe in God. Not anymore.

Not after she’d died the first time and woke up dirty and broken in a shack that couldn’t possibly have existed in her world.

Not after she’d wandered out in the street on legs so shaky she’d fallen three times, and looked around in shock at a dirty disgustingly dry road.

Not after days of intense hunger and starvation, and a growing sense of detachment in a world that didn’t look anything like hers and couldn’t possibly be anything she recognized.

Not after a gang of kids had come along, spotted easy pickings, and beat her badly enough to crack a rib and break most of the bones in her right hand.

What was God in the face of all that? What was a Higher Power? Something bigger, brighter, wiser?

No...Matsumoto Rangiku no longer believed in God. She’d stopped believing when she’d died the first time at age six, and hadn’t looked back since. But she’d been run through by Aizen, pinned to the rock next the first person she'd believed had betrayed them all for power, and she’d known enough to understand she was dying. She’d turned her head over to see Gin fading, silver hair tinged with pink and that damnable smile on his face.

He took her hand with his last breath, and Ran knew without a doubt that this was it. Ichimaru Gin would be the last face she’d see before she died. Fitting, really.

So...Ran was dead.

Or on to the next plane of existence.

Or whatever the hell was happening here.

The night was a velvet darkness, a pretty plum in some places, like it was coming into focus as she became more aware of her situation. Some of the stars were big, twinkles that she guessed would measure half her thumb if she held up a hand. Some were small slivers of light. Light, just beyond her reach.

It was gorgeous, straight out of her childhood in Osaka, if anything.

She held up her hand after a second's hesitation - no point in curbing any urges at this point. Yep, she’d been right. About a half thumb in diameter.

Just her and the stars on a roof at the edge of the world.

Nowhere to go, no lives to save, no Aizen to run from, no Gin to chase down.

The last thing she’d seen as a Shinigami was the first thing she’d loved in that place. Silver hair and a smile. Except this time, his eyes had been wide open and he’d looked at her like he needed to memorize her face because he’d never see her again.

Gin.

He’d always been running. For as long as she’d known Gin, she could never pin him down. Even as her savior, Ran could never be sure that he was where he’d said he would be. Or was supposed to be. He’d disappear for days at a time, and returned with something to tide them over until the next time he'd go ghost. Years and years running with Gin, getting older with Gin, and Ran had never felt sure of him. Why Gin had chosen her, fed her, looked after her, bullied her into _living_ after death.

Never been sure.

That bastard.

_And now you’re dead._

Ran did her best not to cry but, honestly, dying was doing a number on the lid she usually kept in place. She had never taken the time to process his betrayal because she hadn't been able to accept it in the first place. One mission to another - everything blurring together to make sure she didn't stop to think about how Gin could have possibly betrayed them all in the first place. Ran had continued to run on automatic, waiting for a sign from Aizen. She'd run headlong into that final battle with her eyes fixed on him. 

She'd been so _angry_ , so incredibly angry that he was _still_ siding with Aizen in this incredibly stupid war. And then the fighting began and she was battling to keep Gin in her sights and-

She sobbed the way she had stopped crying after she first died. Just...all of it clawed its way out of her soul and into the quiet night air. She was leaving so many other people she loved behind - she spared a thought for her captain, still a teen in so many ways, and how this new loss would carve him even deeper. Who was going to drink with Kyoraku and nudge Kira out of his moods? For all she knew, she’d never see them again. And as ridiculous as it felt to lay back and cry like her heart was breaking, she couldn’t do anything else. It felt like she cried forever. She cried until everything felt swollen and puffy, and her eyes were so dry she could feel her lids dragging over them which each blink.

After an eternity, she moved her arm away from her face and cracked her eyes open a slit. Everything hurt. She opened them wider anyway. It was still gorgeous, still bright. She took a deep breath of cold air, let it shiver into her chest.

Ran blinked, and blinked, and gazed at the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Really short character study, not canon compliant obviously. I was looking through all the amazing art on DA for Ran/Gin and got to thinking about death and time and loneliness. Not edited at all, excuse the roughness of the piece. It feels like it could be longer, if there's enough interest from me or y'all.


End file.
